Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Never Grow Up

I've been caught up in my childhood memories as of late. Living here, in the exact same place that I spent every summer growing up, has actually been a little strange. Don't get me wrong, I do love it. It's cozy and perfect for a young couple just starting out in their marriage. But sometimes, when I'm here alone, my mind wanders back to my early years on Chesley Lake and my heart and my stomach start doing funny things. 

Nostalgia, I guess you could call it. Homesickness. A sentimental longing and wistful affection for the past. It's almost like I can see the ghost of little Taylor with the wild curls wherever I look. She's in the forest, making treasure maps out of peeled birch bark in her castle of cedar boughs and pine needles. She's floating in the water, shivering and nervous as her dad prepares the boat for her first ever waterskiing lesson. She's dancing with her sisters around the bonfire, and she's lying on the dock with her beloved 'Nightwatch' book discovering constellations and counting shooting stars. 

My only fears were thunderstorms and loud noises. I didn't care about how I looked or if I had enough money or how many boys thought I was cute. My grandparents were healthy and able to spend the summers with us. Life at the cottage was so easy back then. It was full of magic and wonder and bliss.

I don't know when it happened. Maybe after my thirteenth birthday, or it could have been before that, the cottage changed. It was still great, but some of the magic had worn off and life outside of Birchcrest was just as important as life in it. The enchanted view on my existence was lifted and I saw things how they truly were. A tree was simply a tree, fairies and mermaids weren't real, I wasn't a princess, and sadly, there were more things to be afraid of than storms. I guess that's part of what growing up is- when child-like wonder dissolves and reality sets in.

I am thankful for those memories, though they have made me a little sad. I am reminded that although I'm an adult now, I should never lose the magic that children see in daily life. And besides, there is new magic I get to have and look forward too now. The magic of finding your true love, of buying our first house, of becoming a mother... 

Just thought I'd share these thoughts with you, as they have been on my mind constantly for the past while.

Hope you're having a fantastic week,

Taylor Rebecca 

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